Wednesday, April 27, 2016
Family Reunification. Old wounds are not always easy to heal.
Please read the following passage from "Enrique's Journey." The reality, however is that it takes years and years until the children and mothers are together again. By the time that happens, if it happens, the children are usually very angry with their mothers. They feel abandoned. Their mothers are stunned by this judgment. They believe their children should show gratitude, not anger. After all, the mothers sacrificed being with their children, worked like dogs, all to help provide their children with a better life and future" (15). Does this quote ring true in your experience? How might this help us in supporting our students' socio-emotional health and welfare?
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This is true in my story. I have a negative relationship due to me feeling "abandoned". However, my experience is easy to relate with the students and I can only share it. Nurturing their socio-emotional health is one I can attempt. However, it is not easy, since alot of it must come from learning to live with what you have and what you desire. This is were our school psychologist may teach us a few strategies for us to learn and practice with our students.
ReplyDelete"How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless child." — King Lear
ReplyDeleteIn Lear's case, the shoe was on the other foot: the parent felt the wound of not being loved enough by a daughter. My mother might have identified, at times, with Lear, but that may be a cross all Irish mothers carry.
As for Enrique and Lourdes, nothing in my experience compares with their tortured relationship. I have been blessed both as a son and as a father. However, I do see students who seem deeply angry with their parents. What has a parent done to inspire such fierce resentment: moved the family away from friends and neighbors to find work; fled an abusive relationship; disapproved of a boyfriend or girlfriend? In this kind of situation, no wonder a youngster feels it's them against the world.
I did not necessarily feel abandoned by my parents either figuratively or literally,
ReplyDeletebut I can relate to feeling misunderstood particularly as it related to my relationship with my dad. I am reminded of a quote I believe was by Twain, which stated "When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant.. but when I got to be 21, I was astonished how much he had learned in 7 years." I think in my teenage years I did not appreciate my dads perspective and world view, and thus felt misunderstood and frustrated in my dealings with him, when I probably should of been more understanding and appreciative of the sacrifices he was making for me.
I think these feelings are quite universal, and can possibly help me in some small degree show empathy towards my students who may feel frustration towards their parents for various reasons.